Adoption News

Our homestudy is about to expire, yes, so our Adoption Specialist shall make a return visit to our home next week.  (Time to clean up the Lego/Train Room upstairs.)  She will update our homestudy, then we will be good for another year of waiting.

Speaking of waiting...  While we wait to be matched with a healthy infant, our adoption agency emails information about waiting children with mild/moderate medical needs.  In the past year we have asked to be matched with five of these waiting children from South Korea.  I think they pretty much go by which family has been waiting the longest, so we have not been matched with any of these special kids.  Yet.

A few days ago we again asked to be matched with a waiting child and should hear early next week if we are to be her parents.  Or his parents.  There are two waiting children we asked to be matched with.  We would only be matched with one.

It is unlikely that we will be matched at all since there are still many families who have been waiting longer than us, BUT you just never know.  And as in the five times before, these few days of waiting consume my mind and I constantly check my email and answering machine for a message from our Adoption Specialist.

Email = not matched.  Phone call = matched!  It's like waiting the three minutes for the home pregnancy test to show the results.  Except it's not three minutes.  It's several days.

The first time we were not matched, I was a bit teary.  I was hopeful and had already started to bond with the idea of this child.  And it's hard for me not to start thinking long term...

If we are matched, then we'll travel to Korea in 4-6 months from now.  It's time to renew my passport.  Have I saved enough money from babysitting Nolan to buy the boys plane tickets?  And this child is a girl.  I get to start collecting girl things.  Oh, what am I going to need?  And how is her medical need really going to affect our family?

See?  My stomach gets all excited.

Then the stick reads 'not pregnant.'

Five times the stick has read not pregnant.

The loss has gotten easier each time because I have tried to be more emotionally distant.  But it's still a loss.  I am thankful for the peace of believing that God's hand is in this process and He is guiding the matching.  One of these days we will be matched with just the right child for our family.  And a child will be matched with just the right family (ours!) for him/her.