Char Char

A short break from the usual California update for this post because...

My dear sweet little Char Char joined our family on this very day last year.

And I've been sentimental about it all day.

And I thought The World should know about it too.


We walked into the room and he was standing on the couch smiling and we just went right over and held him and played with him and he was just fine with that.

I remember first seeing him and wondering if it was him.  Is this our son?  We had a few pictures of him, but here is this child now for real.  This child who was just a stranger a few seconds ago will leave with us in an hour an be our son.  It's so crazy.


A whole year.  Charlie has adjusted and fit into our family so easily.  It is wonderful.

He is wonderful.

And I am so thankful we get to be his parents,

that we get to hold him, teach him, love him.

I get to smile when I see him smile.

I get to laugh when he does a funny dance.

I get to hug him when he says 'night night'.

I get to take his picture and then look at it and melt at his cuteness.

I prayed and trusted God to match us with just the right child.

I thank God for his perfect timing and perfect ways.

I thank God that Charlie's birthmom continued with her unexpected pregnancy and gave him life.

I pray that she would know Him and accept His love.

I pray that God would give her peace and somehow know that her son is loved.  That he is cherished.  Treasured.

I hope that we can meet one day.















Oh how I love him.

What we've been talking about...

How good-looking we are.


We are, apparently.


I was walking home just a little bit ago and this hoodlum guy stopped me to tell me, "You are a very attractive lady.  I know Paul gets all the attention in town, but you need to know you are very attractive."


Paul's response to me after I told him this, "Well someone on YouTube thinks I'm hot."  (An anonymous comment left on one of his Thanks to the Turks videos.)


Me - "Well, we go well together then."


How boring and ordinary I am.


Paul was indecisive about his birthday plans on Monday so he said to me, "I'll spend it with you.  It's not special or fantastic but..."

GASP!  And then we laughed and laughed and maybe I punched him in the shoulder and said, "Thanks a lot."

Not special or fantastic.  ha.


How great and horrible the weather is.


We haven't had rain for a really long time.  If I had a farmer sitting next to me I'd ask him how many days it's been.  It's been in the 90s and 100s and super dry.  Our small town is surrounded by corn and soybean fields.  Our farmer friends are very concerned.

So I feel bad because I love this dry heat.  It feels wonderful.  Like an oven thawing out my frozen bones from that one time when I lived in northern China and was out-of-my-mind cold for six months.

It's usually very humid and sticky here and there's no point in straightening my hair because it will frizz and poof when I walk outside.  I know.  Vain.  I'm so vain.  That's why I only mention it here, where no one can hear me.


What else?  Matthew McConahey and Brad Pitt


In honor of Matt getting married I watched a movie he was in.  That's all.  And I informed Paul about this news, which he cared not about.  And does anyone really know how to spell his name?  I read that she took his last name.  How charming.

But Mr. Pitt, we've been watching him a lot.  As Benjamin Button.  In Turkish.  I realized I'm not hearing Brad's voice, but a Turkish voice-over.  And I don't hardly see him, really, since he's so costumed and make-upped.  As he is aging in real life he is looking less like my cousin Christopher who Grandma always said looked like Brad Pitt.  But I haven't seen Christopher (he's probably called Chris now) for years, so who knows.  Enough nonsense.


Our fourth child


I dreamt last night that our social worker called and said we were matched with a girl.  It's a girl!  I was so surprised.  I didn't even know we were in the adoption process again.  But, a girl!  How exciting.

Our social worker is visiting us on Saturday for our last post-placement visit for Charlie.  So I'll check with her then about that "we're having a girl thing."

I think the idea of another child joining our family is always hiding out in my subconscious.  If Charlie or Reuben's birthmom has another child that she needs to place for adoption, then we would be called first to see if we would consider adding her, as it were, to our family.  You're wondering, would we adopt Charlie or Reuben's sibling if that happened?  YES!  For sure.  Absolutely.  (Right, Paul?  Snookems.  Honey.  Sweet Man.  We can talk about it later, over your favorite dinner.)

And, my sister is very great with child (a girl).  Any day now.  And I've been reading that book about girls adopted from China.  So little girls are on my mind.


Seven early warning signs of a heart attack


That's a Yahoo article I'm headed to read.  Because I've been eating a lot of beef to, um, beef up my iron.  And I'm concerned about my cholesterol now.  What I should do is drive 20 minutes south to the buffalo farm.  Have you read about buffalo meat?  It's so lean and high in iron.  But it's also high in dollars.  But, can one put a price on her health?  Especially when it's someone who is so attractive?

Thursday Thoughts

Did you know there are people in Latvia who visit this blog?  Yah.  And in Japan, Turkey, Russia, France, Germany, and Australia.  I think that's amazing.  Merhaba, G'day, and Konnichiwa!

Also, I was inwardly concerned about the transition of Peter being home all the time when school got out in May.  How am I going to handle three boys?  This is new to me.  Well... It has been wonderful.  It's like Peter and Reuben have been making up for ten months of lost playtime.  They play and play and wrestle and laugh and create.  And Peter loves little Charlie.  He reads to him and builds train tracks for him and helps him however needed.  So great.

And now here's our dinner menu for this week.  All new recipes.

• Middle Eastern Stew - lentils and veggies
• Raspberry Chicken Salad - with lettuce from our garden
• Chicken Primavera - using the dreaded broccoli - maybe the boys like broccoli now - ha
• Roast Beef Pocket Sandwiches - like gyros - had today and Peter and Reuben declared them too spicy, which was a mystery to me
• Spicy Beef Salad - I scanned the meat section for flank steak.  I don't know what that is, but they didn't have it.  So the nice meat lady handed me a hunk of beef that she said would work.
• Spinach Melange - I don't remember what this is, but I picked it to use up the spinach in my freezer.  I'm fully expected the boys to revolt.
• Orange-Yogurt Salad - a jello with mandarin oranges - to make up for the spinach
• Mom's Chili - not new, it's my mom's recipe - needed a comfort food in there

Um, Charlie has a fever today.  Whisked him to the doctor via two-lane country roads.  It's one of my favorite drives out here.  About 35 minutes through the farmlands with little hills that flip your stomach.  About seven minutes in (way before the hilly part) I heard that horrific sound in the back seat... I needlessly said to Reuben, "Did Charlie just throw up?"  Oh, the carseat, you know?  And I didn't have a change of clothes for him.  I just kept driving.  Maybe it would go away by the time we got there.  And here I sit typing with throw-up still on my shoulder.  That's how veteran mom I am.

As for the literature I am reading these days... The Lost Daughters of China has captivated me.  It would be an interesting read for anyone, but having been through the international adoption process I am totally bonding with the author as she retells her adoption story of her two daughters from China.

I also read a book on yoga that's not worth mentioning really.  It was trying to convince to me to be all weird.  I just want to do the exercises, thanks.

And I've made several attempts to get through John Holt's How Children Learn because many in the homeschool world think it's a must-read.  I must be missing something.  I'm totally not enthralled.  It just seems like common sense, but I keep reading bits to try to find the fascinating part.

And in closing, Charlie gained a pound and is up to 22 pounds.  He'll be two in a few weeks.  I love that he's smallish.  I can still hold and cuddle him easily.  But I noticed that he's filled out his footie pajamas.  The last time he wore them the feet would drag and frustrate him.  But tonight they're almost too small.  Just like that.

And my main man Paul cleaned up the vomititious carseat.  Love.  He loves me.  He's here next to me reading about a sultan from the Ottoman empire.

And, I'm taking a trip to California soon.  God has been so gracious in providing all the major details.  I'm still waiting on one - it's a major one according to Peter...  Legoland tickets.  Their website is so silly.  Seventy-five dollars.  Ha, funny Legoland people.  Surely someone in, say, Latvia knows how I can get them cheaper.  Anyone?  Oh, what I need is a reader in Denmark.

When I Was Adopted

The other day Reuben asked me about when I was adopted.  I think he wanted to know where I lived after I was adopted.  I don't remember exactly what he asked because I was trying to quickly take in the idea that he thought I was adopted.  Which makes me wonder if maybe he thinks everyone was once adopted.

I replied to him, "Remember, I grew in Granny's womb.  Granny is my mom."

Rube - "Oh, yeah.  Then where did you go/who took care of you when you came out of her womb?"

Me - "I lived with Granny and Granpa.  They were my family and took care of me."

I think his five-year-mind moved on to something else and our conversation ended there.  But what a realization for me - to know what he is thinking and how he is trying to figure out the world.

He was adopted, not being raised by the woman whose body he came from.

He knows that Peter grew in my womb, that the doctor cut me open to retrieve him, and that he still lives with us, his birth parents.  I guess that's why I was surprised he was globalizing adoption.

I hope he will continue to verbalize his thoughts to me and that I will be able to help him make loving sense of his world.

Trifle

He put the gun deep in my ear and said,

"Here we go.  It's going to be loud."

Then I cringed my face and he blasted my ear.

The goal:  remove the blockade of ear wax so he could then properly view my ear canals.

That was this morning.  And he was successful.

And we all laughed at the grossness of it.

He was about done when he said,

"Oh, there's just a trifle more."

I was surprised at his use of the word trifle,

but also glad that he used such a lovely word in the midst of an unlovely situation.


We were at the doctor for the third time in five days because I've been strangely dizzy and extremely fatigued and they wanted my blood, then wanted some more, and are going to want more in ten days.

You be the doctor...  How did he diagnose me?  Severe anemia.  As in two numbers away from a blood transfusion.

He said, "No exercise, housework, or physical exertion.  You're going to feel better in about six months.  And let's double that iron supplement."

Being dizzy is pretty unpleasant, but I'm thankful for it because it definitely limits the amount of time I can be upright.  And for a while still, I need to be the opposite of upright, which is nearly impossible for a mother, yes?


So that's enough about me, let's talk about... Nolan and Levi.  The brothers from Eastern Europe.  You remember.  As you read that blog post last week you were skeptical that these boys really existed and were tempted to look them up at SNOPES.  Well, ahem...

They are indeed real boys and in real situation with a real adoption agency.  I just can't give their details in this public space, but I could email you about them.  Anyway, we called the real adoption agency just thirty minutes ago to talk to them about our family and these two brothers and adoption.  You know.

Guess.  It is so wonderful.  The adoption agency has sent the paperwork of a family (not ours) to Nolan and Levi's country and within two weeks they could be matched with this family!!  Isn't that such a relief?  Well not yet.  Not completely.  The nice adoption lady said I could call back in two weeks and she'll tell me if the family was accepted and matched with them.

I feel terrible, physically.  But so wonderful, emotionally.

I am praying for these boys and their country's authorities who make the adoption decisions and for the family waiting, waiting to hear if... their family is growing by two teenage boys.  Two very cute teenage boys.

Nothing trifle about this.

By the by, how can trifle mean, "Something of little importance or value.  A small amount."

and...

Wanted: A Family

A warning before we begin:  I am quite emotional.  Tears throughout the day and now again.

A few weeks ago I learned about two brothers in Eastern Europe who have grown up in orphanages and so, SO long to be adopted.

Today I learned that in six months they will be too old to be adopted.  Someone somewhere thinks that age sixteen is the limit.

Since I 'met' these boys and saw their pictures I cannot stop thinking about them.  And praying for them.

I cannot forget them.

I feel compelled to do something.  This is a serious, real need.  These are real boys.

Two boys who have been without a family for years and years.  I am so sad for them.

They want to be adopted.  When the social worker comes to visit them, they rush to her and ask, "Do we have a family yet?  Have we been adopted?"

What makes my face cringe and the tears flow and flow is the thought they have this life of having no family and they cannot do anything about it.  It's not a result of anything they did.  They were just born.

What can I do for them?

I want to go to them and hug them.  I want to tell them that someone way far away who's never met them loves them and wants to care for them.  I want to tell them I'm sorry they've had the life they've had.

I feel helpless.  Which makes me cry again.

There are so many children without families who want one so desperately.  Can you imagine not having anyone who loves you?  Oh my goodness.  It is the ginormous opposite of fair.

The words of an adult who grew up in the U.S. foster care system and aged-out, was never adopted...

"I’ve never wanted a perfect or easy life.  I just wanted a family that loved me and a place to call home.  I just wanted to belong somewhere.  That’s all I ever wanted.  That’s all any foster child ever wants.  They just want to be safe and loved."                       (The rest of her words are over here.)

Children must have adults advocate for them.

What can we do?  Millions of orphans.  What can we do?

One Year Ago

Last February 4th, I opened a life-changing email from our social worker.

It listed four little South Korean boys who each had a special need,

and who were each ready for a family.


Charlie Jae-min was one of them...

 

This was his little picture.

The first time I saw him.

One year ago.

That was February 4th, 2011.

After looking over his paperwork,

we told our social worker that we would

like to be matched with him.

We would like to be his parents.

February 22, the phone call came declaring us

(US!)

as his family.

I remember I was giving Peter a spelling test

when our social worker called with the news.

I was so surprised that I just went back to the spelling test.

After 15 minutes or so it occured to me that maybe I should call Paul and tell him.

Tell him he has a new son.

Silly me.

August 4th, 2011

Exactly six months after first seeing his picture

we got to meet him in person.

AH!  So cute!

(both of them)

August 21, 2011

Home two and a half weeks.

September 5, 2011
Home one month.
Welcome to the rural midwest.
Love this pic.

November 22, 2011

Home three and a half months.

Time to introduce him to my parents

and the California beach.

What a difference from a year ago...

Love him.

Love him.

Before we were matched with Charlie

we had asked to be matched with eight other children

who had come through my email inbox.

Eight times our potential son or daughter
was matched with another family.

Charlie was the ninth,

the one for us.

The us for him.

God knew

and we knew He knew.

A treasure.

Officially Official

November 17th at ten minutes after ten o'clock in the morning,

Jae-min became Charlie Jae-min, a United States citizen, and the fifth member of our family!

We went into our capital city, to the seventeenth floor, were sworn in and promised to tell the whole truth so-help-me-God, committed to love and provide for Charlie as if he had come forth from my very own womb, and then the judge offered the boys some candy.

It was a happy, celebratory day.

 Here we are in the parking lot.

When we adopted Reuben we were not allowed to bring a camera into the building due to heightened security.  So this time we stopped a stranger in the parking lot to take our picture before we went in.  Turns out, security is lessened now and we could have brought our camera in to capture the moment with the judge.  Oh well.  Next time, right?  (There is no next time.  It was a joke.)

 Since we were in The City,

we went over to the Children's Museum,

where our three boys turned into Transformers.

For lunch we went to Naked Tchopsticks.

Some of you have been there with us for other Korean celebrations,

like Reuben's birthday.

  This is the Teriyaki Bento Box.

Chopstick lessons for Charlie.

The stab-n-jab is very effective.

Tasting something tasty.

Getting better every time.

Really yummy miso soup.

Astronaut ice cream we bought at the Children's Museum.

It took two years to go through the process to adopt Charlie.

But, we're not done yet.

I am waiting for his new birth certificate

so I can send it in with his application for his

Certificate of Citizenship.

Then I will use the Certificate of Citizenship

to get his social security card.

Then, we're done.

I think.

Oh, we still have post-placement visits

with our social worker

at 6 months, 9 months, and 12 months

after arriving home with him.

Then, ta-da! my adoption hormones go into hiding

and Charlie turns two.

Are we going to adopt again,

the world wants to know.

The better question here is,

"Are you going to adopt?"

Did you see that?

Enough about me, let's talk about you...

The Interviews Revisited

As Peter, Reuben, Charlie, and I pushed our grocery cart to the check-out this afternoon, the cashier giddily exclaimed,

"I saw you!  You all were in the paper this morning!  You're famous!  You're celebrities!  You're movie stars!"

I'm totally serious.  She was so excited.

I responded with, "Yeah, maybe they'll make a movie out of it.  Ha, ha."

This was the picture on the front page of today's paper.

The reporter who was supposed to come to our house on Monday, but didn't, and then again on Tuesday, but didn't, and then said she'd come the following Wednesday... came on Wednesday.  She was late, but she did come.  And she wrote a nice article about our family and international adoption;  even mentioning Steven Curtis Chapman, Show Hope, and Bethany Christian Services - all key players in our adoptions.

If you'd like to bask in the glory of knowing someone famous read the article, I can email the link to you.  Parents and siblings, it's already in your inbox, because, you know, I'd want to read about you if you were in the paper.

*Remember that one time when I was in the Sports section of the Press Democrat because I won first place at a swim meet in high school?  Except really, I won last place.  I felt sad for the swimmer who actually won and missed her opportunity for glory and fame.*

Okay, so Interview Number One turned out okay.  Let's move on to Interview Number Two.


"I'm terribly sorry, not the news you wanted to hear I'm sure."

and

"Again, I know this is disappointing."

This interview process with the international school is not going the direction I was hoping.

They would prefer me to be single or for both Paul and I to be applying for positions at the school.  For reasons I don't understand,  they "have had some very trying situations with this type of arrangement and it just has not worked out well."  The director of the school has not requested or reviewed my file due to this.

So, it will truly take the Holy Spirit to move the director to consider me.  Which is great.  We want to be in God's will.  If this school isn't it, then there must be a reason.  But the whole time I was reading the disappointing email from the school, I was thinking, "But I want this so much.  This is what I want.  I want to teach at this school.  This is perfect for our family."  Immediately the Bible verses about God's will, not mine flooded my sad heart.  Isn't it good to be guided by God?  He's so much more emotionally stable and non-hormonal than me.

While in this process to be a full-time teacher again, I have become very excited about it all - moving, getting rid of all our possessions, meeting new people, being a professional again, teaching kids to read, wearing dresses, serving God in a new way...

We shall see.

Interviews

Shall I report on the good interview or the dumb one first?

Dumb one it is.  It's better to end on a high note, right?

Dumb Interview

A reporter from a nearby newspaper called our house asking to interview our family at our home with her camera.  She wanted to do a piece about international adoption.

(She learned about the internationalness of our family from a homeschool field trip we went on to the newspaper office.)

So we set up an appointment for this last Monday at 3:45.

House clean, faces washed, photogenic clothing on.

4:20, no reporter.

I called the newspaper office...

She had it down for Tuesday, not Monday.

No, it was Monday.  I had confirmed it with her.  But, I'm all for advocating adoption so I rescheduled it for the next day.

It's Tuesday now.  House, faces, and clothes still pretty much clean.  4:15, no reporter.

Serious?

I called her office again and she said she had forgotten.  Her and her husband are down to one car, you know.  That was her excuse.  Really?  I just talked to you yesterday when you stood me up the first time and you didn't think to call me?!

She wanted to reschedule but I told her that I was afraid she wasn't going to show up again and we have been putting our life on hold for her to come.  I want to put the word out about adoption, but this is ridiculous.

She ended up interviewing me on the phone right then and said she will for sure come to our house next Wednesday.  She wrote it in pen on her calendar.  As if that means anything.

So I've spent the last several days fretting and wondering and hoping that this irresponsible woman will properly represent our family and adoption.  It seems unlikely and I'm already penning a letter to the editor in my mind.  I finally just gave these worries to God and asked him to take care of it all.

That's better.


The Good Interview

I applied for that teaching job, remember?  Since then I have had an online interview, several emails back and forth, references requested, and a phone call with the school representatives.

And now they are on Winter Holiday.  So we get to wait.

But, it's been fun to be in this process and to think about the realities of moving next summer and professionally teaching again.

Ahh!  Really, so neat.

There are others who have applied ahead of me and the word is that the Director is nearly ready to offer the position to someone who is not me.  He has not seen my file yet due to all of my references not being back in.  But, I know that my name has been made known to him so perhaps my file has been in front of him.  And perhaps he will be newly inspired to offer me the job!

As in the above Interview That Wasn't, I have put my trust in God to fully guide this situation.  What a perfectly wonderful thing... to know that God will do what He knows is best.  If I am not offered the position, then it's not the right path for our family.

I want what he wants.

I'll let you know what that is when I know.

Leaves

It's been two months!

Here we are,

two months of five-dom.

To celebrate our survival

we took a family picture and

our social worker will come visit tomorrow

for our second post-placement visit.

Yahoo!

Did you see those leaves behind us?

The trees are amazing right now.

 This in the tree in our front yard.

And it's 80 degrees.

For over a week we get 70-80 degrees and sunshine.

It is so wonderful.

Nevermind the winter dread,

we pulled out our shorts and sunblock again.

And now for the inaugural leaf pile playing...

Charlie enjoyed the leaves in moderation.

Not up to his chest.

And now,

I have some pirate books to read.

Aloud.

To Reuben.

I'm more of an Amish novel gal.

Waiting for this one to come in at the library...

The second in the Rose Trilogy.

The best Amish novel I've read,

but I don't remember why.

It's been so long since I read the first one,

called The Thorn,

that I'm going to have to reread it before I move on

to The Judgement.

My reading comprehension/retention

has always been quite poor,

but it's great for rereading books and watching

movies over and over again.

Huh, Paul?

Can't get enough of Pride and Prejudice.

Is he too proud, or is it her?
Will they end up together in the end?

Mr. Bingley

Our trip to Korea to welcome...

Mr. Bingley Sir Charlie Jae-min 

to our family...

August 1

At the Chicago airport,

getting ready to go.

(I am married to such a handsome man.  Ah!)

August 4

Meeting him for the first time.

He was wearing a little bow tie.

Getting to know each other

at the adoption office.

Remember this picture with the bunny?

I got to meet the bunny...

Most of the children have their picture taken with him.

Continuing to get comfortable with Paul.

Pre-travel physical.

We remembered this nurse from Reuben's adoption.

Healthy guy.

Almost time to say goodbye to his foster parents.

Back at our hotel the same day.

(Oh, the humidity and my curly hair!)

Playing in our room.

We all shared a bed.

It's the Korean way.

Children sleep with their parents until they are two.

August 6

In the Seoul airport,

heading home.

Waiting to board our plane.

First time in a car seat.

He slept 8.5 of the 12.5 hours on the plane

and had no problems the other 4 hours.

Hallelujah and Praise the Lord.

On our drive home

we stopped at F.O. Dairy

for Paul's favorite grilled cheese with

Havarti Pepper cheese and roast beef.

I think we also got some coffee to keep the driver awake

for a few more hours.

August 7

Meeting his brothers for the first time.

Peter and Reuben were so excited to meet him and give him gifts they had picked out with Nana.

Feeling shy and staying close to me.

Reuben asked that we get him a Korean soccer shirt.

Peter wanted a Korean Gatorade

and Reuben wanted a Korean Coke.

Different cans than in the US.

Meeting his Nana.

In the toy basket.

A Reuben sandwich.

Proving his big brother skills.

He loves being a big brother.

But, in distress one day this week he sadly said,

"I'm a big brother but I still can't zip my jacket!"

Meeting Winnie.

She has been so full of grace as he checks her out.

 

First family photo.

We mostly call him Charlie.

Sometimes Jae-min still comes out.

Mr. Bingley on Sundays.

And often we catch ourselves starting to call him Reuben.

His legal name will be

Charlie Jae-min,

named after my dad.

We are rejoicing that he's home with us.

He is fitting right in

and accepting us as his caregivers.

We love him

and think he is so so cute.

I don't have much time for blogging,

as you've noticed.

My days are long and full

and I love it.

 I won't be in this space as often as before.

Remember that one time when I was a knitter?

Ha.

Charlie.

I love him.