Continuing the Discussion

Every other day we are taking the boys to Korea, not taking the boys to Korea, taking the boys...

Today we are not taking them.

Good points all around.  Thanks for the discussion here, in emails, and in person.

A new one that hit me a few days ago as I was making tortillas is...

We have depleted our savings with this adoption so far.  All further expenses will be coming out of our retirement, college, and emergency funds.  We hope to move to T a year after this adoption... How unwise is it to move with all these funds wiped out?  (Last minute plane tix to Korea are about $1700 each, see?  They call us when Jae-min's paperwork is all ready and we are expected to be in Korea within 7 days.)

Want to hear the tidbit details of this realization?

When Paul and I disagree in a stubborn-like fashion and we're just not getting anywhere close to a unified decision...
I pray... that God would change... Paul.  It's true.

"God, you know what's best.  Please use your Spirit to inform Paul.  Thank you."

Well, as I was rolling out tortillas I was having this little talk with God.  But then He turned it on me.  What if I'm the one who needs to change?  Seriously?  And then that bit about being responsible with our finances came about.  I hadn't thought about that.  I'm cool with using every bit of our savings to provide a home and a family for a child.  Not so cool with using it up on a trip for two kids that risks being insignificant and unmemorable.

This was reinforced as I was chatting with Paul's brother and sister this weekend about Really, how much are the boys going to remember about the trip?  Apparently I went to the Grand Canyon once.  I don't recall a thing about it and the fact that I went is pretty meaningless to me.  Anna asked me to recall the first vacation I could remember.  I think it was camping in the Redwoods when I was about nine maybe.  I got hit by a car on my turquoise bike.  And my younger brother fell out of our tent trailer and we got to eat Honey Nut Cheerios.

That discussion made it clearer to me how little the boys will actually remember.

I feel pretty okay about them not going at this point.  Focusing on the positives now.  Of course I wish they could.  I just wish they were older.  One day we'll all take on Korea.  Just not quite yet.