It's Not Funny

I try not to be easily offended by others' words or actions.  But today I was so saddened, then mad, and then saddened again by one of my friends.  Two of my friends.  One of them, my closest friend.

Friend 1 retold something he saw on TV to Friend 2.  Friend 2 then told it to me.  It was about a family who was going to meet with a social worker to become adoptive parents.  The dad was being careless with his words (a jerk, really) and said something like,

"So what if she (the social worker) doesn't like me.  Then I just won't buy one of their used babies."

My two friends thought this was hilarious.  It immediately hurt me.

I am mad that this was on television and that a lot of other people heard those words.

I am mad that my two friends are retelling this story and influencing others to think it's funny.

It is not funny to the adopted child who is trying to make sense of his life.  Why didn't my birthparents keep me?  Why are television shows portraying me as a used object, like I have less value than other people?  Am I not the same as my friends?  Does the world look at me as a lesser person?

It is not funny to the birthparents who were in a tough situation that led to an adoptive family raising their child.  Have you placed your child for adoption?  Have you signed the papers to relinquish your parental rights?  Imagine how hard that is.  This is not a casual action, like taking a bag of used toys to Goodwill for someone else to buy.

It is not funny to me, a real life adoptive Mom who is trying so hard to love and build a positive life for my child.  His birthmom could not take care of him.  If she had chosen to parent him, his birth country would have made him feel like a "used baby," not worthy of any kind of status.  That's how it is there when you cannot trace your family bloodline.  The life the TV dad was joking about would have been a real experience for my child.  Do you see why I'm so mad?  This is my child the world and my friends are joking about...  my child and the thousands of other orphans living in our country who are watching shows like this one, overhearing jokes like this one, fighting their own frustrations because they have to live as a "used baby" when all they want is to be 'normal.'

Adopted children are not some thing we buy.  They are not used objects.  What a horrible thing to say.